Due to the majority of my story will be happened in the room and I was not familiar with British interior style and design. I searched some picture of it in order to let audience know that the story is talking about in Britain. I did not know clearly what exact style of British room was. It was pretty confused at that time. I had no idea, using Google keep looking, But something slowly began to dawn on me- what I still loved what I did. Although the searching process took me a long time, but looking back it was one the important affair I had to do. Throughout my research, I learnt many British interior style and what is difference between house and flat. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that maybe technique can’t capture and I found it fascinating.
Today，I went to college to meet my good friend Paul getting some feedback of my story. The first thing i need to say, He is an exemplar student, you know, currently Paul is making this project,and he stays at uni every day, studies so hard. he finished essay. He absolutely pay attention on animation course. I should learn sth from him. At the end of today, i did not receive any feedback this week… If the deadline was the 5th… then I am sure that they would tell you something on Monday. Try to have my storyboard by then if possible. Or the Animatic, but at least the storyboard. Paul gave me a lot of advice, some of them are useful for my story, to be honest, i must accept it so that making great animation great. First advice is letting the father in this scene or not, if not, I should only leave father’s voice. But now, i am not sure, if the father as a character appears in this animation, the story shows intensive emotion that how a guy overcomes his father’s interruption. But I am not so sure about only using the voice of the father… If I do not show him the viewer does not even know who is talking. So it confuses people.From my personal opinion, I am not sure about that since the father is the antagonist. the origin of the conflict. If the guy is the protagonist, the good character, then the father is the antagonist, the bad character… so, for me… it should appear , not just the voice. If there is a conflict for the boy to change the mood and be brave at the end, it is because there is a conflict, and that exist because of the father.. so for me he is important enough to appear, not just the voice. At least… I should show him maybe as a quick flashback , maybe in black and white, like the boy is remembering for a few seconds how his father is against that relationship with the Chinese Girl. But I should show him somehow… because without him… there is no conflict. Secondly, Paul said to me, it is very hard to express the cigar lighting the paper plane. I think so. but I still like the idea of the cigar, that is secondary. I would keep the father somehow and if you want to sacrifice the cigar, it my call. But it is more dramatic if the father gives that Drama to the scene. For me is a strongest concept. I said to Juan, can I use the Chimney replace the cigar. Juan’s answer is that the chimney is a random element without any meaning… The cigar action is better connected. But that is just Juan opinion. Anyway, I am partial to Juan’s opinion, I think the original idea is better .although some one give you advice. I need to use the father and manage reasonable position in the room Thirdly, Paul said to me, I need to show two landmarks to express the distance. maybe it is the big ben, and famous building of china. those two buildings will be very simple mark, over the sky, a bit higher over the sky, after paper flight flying out of the window to sky, the next camera will has a corner showing big ben and next camera showing Chinese building. I like the reference about the landmarks. As a result, it can let audience have a clear distance and direction Forth, discuss about the last camera, Paul said to me. I should show a process of picking up the airplane where is on the ground and then showing the girl equipped with a smiling expression. I think it is good, but if I show the girl smiling, it is more than 2 character. I would ask Steve about that, because at this point.. it is true, the girl is a third character… but just for two seconds… it is almost nothing… Maybe I can cheat here, like this: Use the 2 characters, father and son. And only show the hands of the girl… or even a shadow of the profile of the girl picking the letter from the floor, like a silhouette… and you finish there… But I can add some illustration at the end with the credits… when I actually show her smile reading the letter. So it is not part of the animation… but I should make sure that the public knows about the happy end or happy attitude of the girl because she appears on the credits… I will ask Steve about this. I think they could accept this idea without giving you a problem because a third character.
Get feedback from Steve, he said, my story seems far to complex, simplify. As a result, I decide to try to make short the beginning when Ian is going to prepare himself to write the letter. (Maybe, the character can hold finished folding paper airplane with Royal mail logo). Maybe I can show him at the beginning just in the moment he actually finishes the letter. He takes a big breath, like a sign of love while he is signing the letter, happy mood, folding the paper to make the paper airplane, and looking to the picture where I show them as a couple. Immediately I can do the dance towards the window, but quick, like only one time he does a twist ( or turn around) of the waltz, like 4 -5 steps to do that movement, while approaching the window. and gets ready to throw the letter like an airplane. At this point I will gain a few seconds already.. The father can be looking at him from the door… ( he was there all the time… spying on him … smoking in silence…) and he reacts with authority and bad mood automatically, as soon as the son is in the window… ” Don’t DO it, I told you to forget about her”. The moment of hesitation of the son… make it faster… like he is listening to the father.. but the change of mood must be super fast. First, surprise (he was not aware if the presence of his father at the door all the time), second, looking at the airplane with sadness… but straight away he gets courage and throws the letter. All that in…5-6 seconds? 7 ? 8 seconds? Father’s quick reaction is being pissed off screams ” Damn boy!!!” Jumping towards the window and trowing the cigar. Quick movement. Now it has to be slow motion, when I show how the cigar lights fire on the airplane almost touching the paper… (giving tension to the moment) Again normal speed when the flight keeps going and the fire is extinguished while the planes is lost on the horizon. I think I can fit it like that in the minute? Basically cutting the beginning, instead showing how he is happy preparing himself to write the letter… I will be showing him already finishing the letter.